A Path We Didn't Choose
by Accio Lumos
Summary: 1982. The Dark Lord has fallen and the Death Eaters are being rounded up with Lucius being one of the accused. Narcissa finds herself in a situation she never thought she'd be in, having to free her husband and find a way to make her marriage work in a future where the Dark Lord wasn't victorious as they had dreamed. Sequel to my story To Love and To Cherish.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who gives this a read, this story is the sequel to my story To Love and To Cherish. It will focus on the early years of Draco's childhood and after the fall of Voldemort and in this I've decided that Lucius was held in Azkaban for a time after accusations of him being a Death Eater arose at the Ministry. I hope you like it. **

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the amazing J K!**

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**May 1982**

A blonde haired child whizzed around the grounds of the Malfoy estate on his toy broomstick, laughing in delight as he sent a peacock flying three feet in front of him. It was times like this that made his mother forget about the troubles she had had over the last few months. Her son was nearly two and he was everything that Narcissa had ever hoped for and she adored Draco but she couldn't help but feel like she was failing. Last year the Dark Lord fell on Halloween and shortly after the Death Eaters began to panic about their future. Bella, her husband, Rabastan and a new recruit Barty Crouch Jr were convinced that some Aurors knew where their master was and that Voldemort hadn't died like many believed, her sister had asked Lucius to join them in torturing the Aurors for information and her husband refused. Karkaroff was first to be captured, naming names to the Ministry in return for his freedom and it was then she started to fear for her family.

Lucius tried assuring her that it was fine, that the amount he donated to the hospital and the Ministry each year was enough to persuade them that he wasn't a follower of the purity cause should his name be mentioned; and for a while they were okay. But then one night, the Aurors came knocking. Moody had said that Lucius had been named as a Death Eater and was taken into custody where he would await trial. She hadn't seen her husband in four months, no letters whatsoever. It was up to her to make sure that her husband gained his freedom.

Narcissa held private meetings with the Minister, giving Minister Bagnold her statement that she believed her husband was under the influence of the imperius curse and that she had been afraid to inform anyone because her husband was a proud man who didn't like the world knowing what he had been forced to do but now she had no choice. She put on the waterworks, showing Bagnold that her son needed his father at home and none of the things he had done were his fault or his doing. Bagnold felt touched by her words and agreed to bring her husband's trial up sooner and try and help him get cleared of the charges brought against him, after all the Malfoys were a family who helped out the Ministry and St Mungo's in time of need.

She heard footsteps behind her as she sat on the terrace watching her son play happily, her head turned and smiled to see her mother sitting in the chair opposite hers.

"What time is the trial?" Druella asked.

"Two o'clock, thank you for agreeing to watch Draco." Narcissa replied quietly.

Druella smiled, "He is my grandson, I will watch him whenever you need me to." she said.

"I am hoping to give him an early birthday gift later today." Narcissa sighed.

"Bringing home Lucius? What have you told Draco about the absence of his father?"

Narcissa looked her mother in the eye, finishing off her tea and placing the empty cup on the saucer. What could she tell her son? That his father had been a murderer and torturer of mudbloods and muggles, that the cause his father had believed in with all his heart was gone? That his father would be a different person to the one she had married? Her son was only twenty-three months old, he wouldn't understand at this age and she doubted that Draco would remember his father's absence because he was so young.

"He knows that Lucius is gone but he does not understand where or why, he knows that I am trying to bring home his daddy." Narcissa replied.

"Probably the best thing to tell the boy, he is only a baby still." Druella muttered.

"He will always be my baby, no matter how old he gets." Narcissa smiled, looking at her son land on the grass and get off the toy broomstick.

"All parents have that feeling despite the hurt we feel from our children. You are the only one who has not disappointed or hurt your father and I." Druella said proudly.

"You know what Bella was like, she always made her own decisions and never took the advice of anyone." Narcissa replied before turning her attention to the little boy who was running up the terrace.

"Mummy, you watch me?" Draco asked, jumping into Narcissa's lap and dropping the toy broomstick to the ground.

"I did, you were very good." Narcissa said, kissing her son's forehead.

"Who got him that toy anyway?" Druella asked, pouring herself a cup of tea.

Narcissa's smile faded, "Lucius did before..." she said quietly.

Druella reached out and patted her hand as she took a sip of tea. Narcissa checked her watch, noting that she needed to leave to get to the Ministry. She placed Draco on the ground which earned her a sulky look from her son.

"Draco, I have to go out for a little while. Your grandmother will look after you so be a good boy." Narcissa instructed.

The boy smiled and hugged her legs before picking up the toy broomstick and ran off the terrace to mount the thing once more. Narcissa rose from the table, bidding goodbye to her mother before leaving the manor, hoping and silently praying that her husband would be returning home to them later that day.


	2. Chapter 2

"Don't worry Mrs Malfoy." Bagnold assured, "The trial is just for the public's concern, your husband will be home to you before you know it."

Narcissa nodded but said nothing, having been assured by the new Minister many times that her husband would be found not guilty but a part of her remained uncertain. She had donated so much money to the Ministry since her husband's arrest, due to the fact that the Ministry was finding it hard to find the funds to run trials for every Death Eater that they had captured. She had lost count of how much of their money she had donated to help fund these trials but she wanted to give the Minister the image that the Malfoys were loyal to their Ministry and that the amount of funds they had donated over the years and how much they would continue to do so over the years showed that. Having also told the Minister her own fears about her husband being under the imperius curse and putting on the waterworks when she had to bring up how hard it was for Draco not having his father around, she had been told that she had to give her own account of her husband's strange behaviour to the wizengamot.

The lift stopped on Level Two to which the Minister and Narcissa stepped out and entered the courtroom, with the people deciding her husband's fate taking their seats. The Minister wished her good luck, gesturing for Narcissa to take her seat at the side of the room to wait to be called as a witness. Fifty people were to determine her husband's fate and although Bagnold believed her testimony, the trial still had to go ahead and Bagnold had to take the head seat on the trial.

The people sat and silence fell as a door opened and her husband was brought in, wearing the grey and black striped robes of an Azkaban prisoner. His face was full of a beard that he had never had before, his robes ripped on the arms and legs and the chest, revealing his scratched tone torso. His shoulder length blonde hair was dirtied from spending the last four months in a dark and damp cell but when his grey eyes met hers, he seemed a little less nervous about his fate. He seemed settled by her presence and she could only feel her heart break at the treatment he must have received in that horrible place.

She watched as her husband was chained to a chair in the middle of the room, where the fifty members of the wizengamot looked down on him like an inferior. Narcissa knew that he would hate that, being a Malfoy meant that you were superior.

"Can you state your name for the wizengamot?" Bagnold asked.

"Lucius Abraxas Malfoy." he replied.

"Thank you, Mr Malfoy." Bagnold said, "Now you are brought here today on the accusation of being a Death Eater and commiting crimes in the name of a wizard who wanted the world rid of muggleborns, squibs, muggles and anyone else who stood in his way. Is that correct? "

Lucius nodded but said nothing.

"And how do you plead?"

"Not guilty."

The murmers broke out, many staring daggers at Lucius until Bagnold banged the gavel down on to the table to ensure that silence fell once more. Narcissa felt her heart beating faster in her chest, knowing it would be her turn to speak in a few minutes.

"Please tell us your account Mr Malfoy." Bagnold instructed.

"I was under the imperius curse, I did not want to commit those crimes but I was forced." Lucius replied confidently.

"Can you describe it please?"

Lucius looked around the wizengamot, as if addressing all of them at once.

"I cannot recall what happened at the start, one night I went out to meet some friends for a few drinks when I was hit over the head, the next thing I knew I was in a dazed but wonderful trance and I was told to carry out these crimes."

"Elaborate." one man piped up, "Explain these crimes."

Lucius raised an eyebrow, "You already know Sir, torture and murder of those who refused him. I do not recall who placed the curse on me but there were times when I would go back to my usual self. I would not be returning home at the early hours of the morning, I would not feel in a daydream. But there were times when the curse was replaced on me that I began to resist and that resistance resulted in them torturing me because I did not want to carry out the crimes they ordered me to." he replied.

"He does seem to know the exact feeling of the imperius curse." Narcissa heard one woman whisper to another person, the people sat right behind her. This only caused her to smile, of course her husband would know the feeling of the imperius curse but that wasn't the point of today.

"You give an accurate account of the feeling of being under the curse Mr Malfoy, it is very similar to others we have questioned." the man said.

Narcissa listened further as they put more questions to her husband, some still holding the adamant expression on their face that they didn't believe his innocence. Others looked sceptical over her husband's account, still waiting to hear her side of the story. Bagnold nodded and Lucius's chair was taken further back and another put in it's place.

"The wizengamot calls Narcissa Malfoy to testify." Bagnold announced.

Narcissa stood from her seat, meeting her husband's gaze before turning her attention to the people above her as she took to the seat. She didn't let their glares get to her, she was determined to repeat the same words that she had told so many people over the last few months, she had to if it meant having her husband at home once again.

"Mrs Malfoy, how long have you and your husband been married?" Bagnold asked her.

Narcissa smiled, memories of her wedding day flashing in her mind before she met the Minister's gaze.

"Ten years next July." Narcissa replied.

"Can you describe your husband's behaviour in the last two years before his arrest?" Bagnold asked her.

Narcissa cleared her throat, "It began with some small changes, such as changing his favourite beverage, going out late in the night to return early in the morning, not sleeping properly and my husband has always been a sound sleeper. He would become distant from me when usually he was so attentive." she replied.

"And when did you start to suspect that he was under the imperius curse?"

"Shortly after the birth of our son, the man I married began to re-emerge from the one he had been so out of character for months. He was not distant any more, he was back. The man I married was back, he would do things that he did before the changes and then one night he went back to the man he was; back to coming home bloody and cut, bruised and dirty. He told me he could not tell me because there would be severe consequences." Narcissa explained.

"Severe consequences?"

Narcissa nodded, her eyes welling up in tears.

"Shortly before He Who Must Not Be Named was defeated, I confronted my husband about my suspicions as he was going back to normality. By normality I mean the man I married. He said that he could not remember certain things, that he had been forced to do things he did not want to do and then..." she choked on her breath, "he was tortured for refusal and then made to do them. Lucius told me that 'they' had threatened to hurt my son and I if he told."

The court broke into murmers as she stroked away a stray tear from her eye and sniffed, feeling her husband's stare at the back of her head. She didn't turn to face Lucius and he didn't speak at her testimony, probably knowing that if he did before his turn it would make matters worse for him.

"How do we know that you're telling the truth Mrs Malfoy?" one of the men stood and shouted, "Many families have been murdered, the Bones, the Prewetts and the McKinnons! How do we know that you're not just covering for your husband? Your sister has recently been sentenced to life in Azkaban for her torture of the Longbottoms-"

Narcissa stood from her chair, looking at the man furiously, "Forgive me Sir," she growled, "But I am not here to give testimony for my sister's actions. I rarely saw my sister and her husband and their actions are their own. I had no idea that my sister was a Death Eater and I had no idea of her beliefs in this 'purity cause'. I am here to give my testimony on my husband's innocence."

"Then tell us how are we supposed to believe that your husband is innocent?" asked the same man.

She took to her seat, looking around at all the eyes that were upon her. Coughing to clear her throat, she continued with her account.

"My husband has always put this Ministry first, since he was a boy fresh out of Hogwarts. He started at the Ministry and continued at the Ministry even after we were wed. I wish I could tell you how many nights I went to bed alone and cold because my husband was at the Ministry in meetings and doing overtime for the Minister but there are so many I have lost count. My husband has always donated money from our own vault at Gringotts to the Ministry and to St Mungo's because he wants to provide our world with more operations, to provide the young with better care and a better future. My husband is a good man, a little proud which is why I never took my suspicions further than a confrontation with my husband. He has always put the Ministry before everything, including our marriage. The only time when it has never been put first was after the loss of our daughter and then he only reduced his days in order to grieve with me and when we were blessed with another child, he still spent more time at the Minister's side than at home with his wife and son. He believes in this Ministry, probably more than many of you. My husband is innocent and he needs to be at home, with his wife, with his son who misses him more than anything."

The members of the wizengamot looked at each other, taking in her answer to the last question. Some murmered but she didn't hear what they were saying, she didn't care. All she cared about was giving a powerful speech to the court in order to gain her husband's freedom as many of the court were adamant that her husband was guilty and she wsa beginning to question the Minister's assurance that her husband would be found innocent.

The woman, Amelia Bones, one of the last surviving members of the Bones family rose and cleared her throat, "Mrs Malfoy, thank you for giving your testimony. If you would please return to your seat at the side, we can end this trial."

Narcissa smiled at the woman and took to her previous seat, making eye contact with her husband. Lucius remained expressionless towards her until his attention was back on Amelia Bones.

"All those in favour of conviction?" she said loudly and clearly.

Narcissa held her breath for the next minute as she watched twenty out of fifty people rose their hands in the air, convinced that her husband was guilty. When Amelia Bones cleared her throat once more their hands went down.

"Those in favour of clearing the accused of all charges?"

She held back the gasp of relief as the other thirty members of the wizengamot rose their hands, having believed her testimony on her husband's innocence and she looked to Lucius, whose reaction of relief was all over his face.

"Cleared of all charges." Bagnold declared with a smile, banging the gavel down and the court rose from their seats, the trial over.

Lucius was released from his shackles that bound him to the chair, moving his wrists at the release of the chains. Narcissa leapt from her seat, rushing to her husband and wrapping her arms around his necks, pulling him close to her as she embraced him. His arms went round her waist, he was back where he belonged.

"Narcissa-" he began to whisper.

"Sssh." she whispered back, "You are coming home."


	3. Chapter 3

The side along apparition home was quicker than they thought. Lucius looked up at the manor and smiled slightly, knowing that he would be sleeping back in his comfortable bed with an en-suite bathroom and his son happy that he was home after months away. Narcissa opened the door to the manor and led him to the master suite, with everything looking the same as it had done before his arrest.

He didn't notice that his wife emerging from the en-suite and heard the sound of running water. Lucius hadn't realised how much he had missed the comforts of home until now. In Azkaban he had been given a bowl of cold water to wash with once a day, luckily he wasn't kept in the highest security cells. He had been held in a cell with one other person as he awaited trial and their needs were met but sometimes quite poorly.

"Have a bath and relax, clean yourself up and come down when you are ready." Narcissa said quietly.

She left him alone in the bedroom, shutting the door behind her silently. Lucius entered the en-suite, stripping himself from the robes he had been forced to wear for the past four months. He turned off the taps and studied his reflection in the mirror, noting that his appearance looked different to the last time he had seen his reflection. He had managed to keep fit during the time he was held in that dirty cell, doing press ups; one more for each day that had gone by, keeping him determined that he would see his wife and son again. But his chest was scratched from the fights he had with his cellmate, his blonde hair dirtied from sleeping on a grimy floor and the beard made him look like a savage.

Then his thoughts went to his wife, how she and their son had spent the last four months coping without him he didn't know. Lucius knew that his wife was strong, having gone through the things she had over the past ten years would make you stronger but that didn't make him feel any less guilty. Then there was the fact that he suspected that Narcissa had to bribe anyone who had a chance of giving him his freedom and for that he felt a little angry. He didn't want his wife to resort to bribery, she was better than that.

He groaned in relief as he sunk into the steamy water, his muscles relaxing instantly as he lay in the bathtub, waving his wand at the sink and caught his razor in his free hand. He wanted to get his life back together and what better way than by having a bath to rid himself of the dirt and the beard that didn't suit him.

ooOoo

When Narcissa reached the bottom of the stairs she ordered Dobby to start preparing dinner, knowing that her husband probably hadn't had a decent meal in months and wanted him to be content now that he was home. She left the manor to go back to the terrace where she found her mother sitting at the table, sipping a cup of tea as Draco continued to fly on his toy broomstick.

"Has he been on that thing since I left?" Narcissa asked with a laugh.

Druella nodded, "Yes, he certainly likes it." she replied.

"I think he will play for the team when he goes to Hogwarts." Narcissa said fondly.

"Perhaps, you would buy him the most expensive broomstick if he did." Druella smiled.

"He is my son, my only son, surely there is nothing wrong in spoiling him?"

Druella shook her head, "If your brother had lived, your father would have done the same thing dear."

For a few minutes they sat in silence and watched the toddler kick a peacock up the backside and laughed as Draco found it more amusing each time he did it. Narcissa couldn't wait to see the look on her son's face when Lucius came downstairs, she hoped that her son would be overjoyed at the return of his father.

"So, is Lucius home?" Druella asked.

"Cleared of all charges." Narcissa replied happily.

"Good. Did they mention Bellatrix?"

Narcissa nodded, "I told them that I was not there to testify to my sister's crimes." she answered.

"It is a shame but she always was a bit of a disappointment." Druella tutted.

"You love her still, no matter how much disappointment you may experience from your children you would still do anything for them." Narcissa said, continuing to watch her son.

"Spoken like a mother." Druella stated proudly.

She didn't know how much time had passed when she saw Lucius step out on to the terrace, blonde hair washed and dried and tied back and his face clean shaven; he looked as if he had never been away.

"Good afternoon Druella, how are you?" Lucius greeted.

"Very well Lucius, yourself?"

Lucius sat in the chair next to Narcissa, "Much better now that I am home once more." he replied.

Druella rose from her seat, smiling and saying her goodbyes; that she had to get back for dinner with Cygnus and that she would check in on them later in the week. Narcissa turned to her husband, liking that he no longer looked like the criminal but as the man she married.

"It is a miracle what a bath can do." she muttered.

Lucius smiled slightly, "I agree, I feel like myself again somehow. What is for dinner?" he said.

"Cottage pie with carrots, onions and peas, Draco loves it."

"Since when? I thought he hated peas."

Narcissa's smile faded, "Shortly after you went to Azkaban, Severus came to watch him one afternoon so I could run some errands and he managed to get Draco liking them. I have to say Severus has been quite the life saver-"

Lucius looked away as she stopped speaking and watched their son on his broomstick, eyes lighting up in pride at how well he flew on the toy.

"He has gotten a lot better." he muttered.

Narcissa nodded, "It will not be long until he will be on a real one." she replied.

"Have you not bought him one already?"

She shook her head, "You always said that you wanted to be the first one to buy him a proper broomstick and I respect that." Narcissa answered.

Lucius looked at her and she noticed that there was something different but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"Things could have gone very differently today."

"Ssh, we shall talk about this later." Narcissa whispered, having seen that Draco had landed from the broomstick and was rushing up to her.

"Mummy!" Draco yelled happily, launching himself into her arms, "You're back!"

Narcissa laughed, "Yes darling I am back and I got you a present." she said.

Draco looked over her shoulder and his happy smile faded to see that his father was sitting next to her. The boy got off his mother's lap and instead of going into Lucius's waiting arms, he started crying and rushed into the house; causing both his mother and father to wonder what was wrong with him.


	4. Chapter 4

Dinner that night in the Malfoy Manor was a tense affair. Lucius felt that he had been away longer than four months, having missed out on small changes that his wife and son had made. Draco had never liked peas before he had been arrested and the boy's talent on the toy broomstick had grown. His wife was thinner, probably having spent much of the last four months trying to figure out what to do.

Draco wouldn't even look at his father, having run straight to his bedroom after setting his eyes on Lucius. Narcissa had rushed after him straight away, only to discover that her son was upset to have his father home. She had tried to soothe him, assure him that his daddy was home for good now but Draco simply replied that Lucius was going to leave them again and he didn't want to see his mummy upset. Of course, she didn't tell Lucius that; she simply told him that he was over tired and needed an early night. Something which they all did.

So there they were, sat in the large dining room eating their meal in silence. With Draco merely staring down at his plate as he shovelled food into his mouth, Narcissa trying to decide whether she should start a conversation and Lucius moving the food around his plate, deep in thought. Never before had their family dynamic been this unnatural and awkward.

"Mummy?" Draco piped up, filling the silence of the room with the echo of his voice.

"Yes Draco?"

"Finished."

Narcissa looked at her son's plate, noticing that he demolished the majority of his dinner before nodding her head that he could get down from the table. Draco ran from the room with Lucius meeting his wife's gaze.

"You allow him to leave the table without clearing his plate?" Lucius questioned.

She placed her fork down before nodding, "When he is full he tells me that he is finished and I allow him to go and play." Narcissa answered.

"You are too soft on the boy."

They stared at each other for a few minutes before she pushed her plate away and left the dining room, leaving Lucius to think over whether he had been a little harsh over the way that Narcissa was with their son and after all, it had been four months that his son had to go without his presence in the house. He called for Dobby to clear away the plates, having lost his appetite completely and left to go and sit in the living room.

The bottle of brandy that Narcissa had gifted him last Christmas remained unopened as he pulled it out from the liqueor cabinet. Lucius poured himself a glass and sat in his armchair, placing his feet up on to the coffee table and took a small mouthful. He had missed this, being able to sit in his comfortable chair and put his feet up; the sound of the fire crackling next to him radiating warmth as Narcissa would sit opposite him reading a book. The last time that he had done this was a few days prior to his arrest. Narcissa had been reading their son a bedtime story and he watched as his son smiled at the funny voices that Narcissa made for different characters, it had been a book that had been intended for their daughter and watching Narcissa have the chance to read it to their son was one of the most beautiful sights he ever had the pleasure to behold. Narcissa had been a natural mother when they had finally been blessed with a chance and he couldn't imagine how she coped without him during his imprisonment.

He hadn't realised the time when Narcissa entered the living room and sat opposite him, ordering Dobby to pour her a glass of wine as she picked up a book from the side table next to her chair.

"Draco is in bed, I thought you would like to know." she said, going to the page to pick up from where she had left off.

"This early?" Lucius asked, checking the clock to see that it wasn't in fact as early as he had initially believed.

Narcissa looked up from her book, "Spit it out." she urged.

He sighed heavily, "I do not like it Narcissa, too much has changed." he stated.

"I thought that you would happy to be home, I guess I was wrong." Narcissa replied.

"What is there to be happy about?" Lucius snapped.

Narcissa slammed her book shut and threw it on to the side table, glaring at him in disbelief.

"You are bloody ungrateful, I thought you would be happy. You should be happy after what I have had to endure for the last four months!" she hissed.

Lucius placed his glass on the coffee table, leaning forwards to her slightly.

"What about what I have had to endure?" Lucius asked.

"Four months imprisonment at your own fault. Being on the outside was far worse I assure you." Narcissa yelled.

"Really dearest? You had your freedom, you had our money, our son. What is there for me to be happy about? My son has changed, he cried the minute he set his eyes on me for the first time in four months. He refused to look at me during dinner and I find that there are small changes about him that I should have known about-"

Narcissa rose from the armchair, continuing to glare at him; "You really are a selfish man sometimes. I may have had freedom, I may have had money and Draco but do you know what I had to do to get you out of Azkaban? I had to spend so much money that I have lost count of the actual amount. I had to put up with dirty looks and whispers when I went out in public. I had to lie for you, put on the waterworks to Bagnold for you and this is what I get in return? A husband who complains that there has been some changes and does not see what he can be happy about? Perhaps I should have left you to rot in that wretched place alongside my sister, maybe I should not have given you a second thought because you never did give me a second thought when you were running around being a Death Eater." she said bitterly.

"Well then I apologise for the amount of trouble you went to. Clearly you do not want me home-"

The sting from her slap hurt him less than the unexpectedly of her hand connecting to his cheek. He was surprised, shocked even that his wife would ever do that to him. Never before had she hit him in anger, never before had she felt that angry to even feel the need to.

"You want to know why Draco cried and refused to look at you Lucius? It has been four months without word of your wellbeing and it has been four months of him asking me when you were coming home and four months of the same answer; of me telling our son that I did not know when and four months of me promising him to do my best to bring you home. He is a young boy who does not remember a day without you here but then he had to adapt to you not being here and he just got used to it. Seeing you again for the first time in months was a shock for him. Children find change hard and he yet again has to adapt to you being here once more. He also does not want you to leave again, he is upset that you will. As for you to say to me that I do not want you home, you know full well that is a lie. I do want you home, I did want you home; but if you are going to be like this then maybe I should not have bothered tiring myself out for four months trying to secure your release. Welcome home darling, have Dobby set up a guest bedroom for you tonight because you are not sharing my bed whilst you are being like this!" Narcissa sneered, snatching her wine glass from Dobby and heading up the stairs before slamming the door to the master suite shut behind her.

Lucius groaned and fell back into the armchair, regretting his attitude instantly for the way he spoke and treated his wife. But he couldn't help but feel the way he felt at the moment and he didn't know when he would stop feeling like this. If only he could go back in time and stop a baby from killing the Dark Lord but he knew that was impossible, there was nothing that could change the way he and the rest of those he once called his comrades would have to live their lives now.


	5. Chapter 5

Narcissa woke up the next morning as she usually did, at six in the morning with her little boy bouncing on the end of her bed. Draco had always been an early riser and it was only now that she was beginning to get used to it. She pulled on her dressing gown and headed down to the dining room with her son, trying to decide what to have for breakfast. To her surprise, Lucius was already awake and dressed, sitting at the dining table reading the morning paper as if nothing had happened. It was like he had never been away the way he sat in his usual chair, being served his breakfast by the house elves.

"Draco what would you like for breakfast?" Narcissa asked, lifting the boy into his booster seat at the table.

"Eggs Mummy." the boy yawned.

"Dobby, make us both scrambled egg on toast please and do not burn it otherwise there will be a punishment." Narcissa warned.

"Yes Mistress." the elf squeaked.

Narcissa took her usual seat next to Lucius and poured herself and Draco a glass of orange juice. Lucius put the paper down and watched her closely which made her feel quite nervous, as if he were judging her on something that she was yet to discover.

"Did you sleep well?" Narcissa asked, handing Draco his glass.

"No if you want me to be honest. Yes if you want me to keep up a pretence." Lucius replied harshly.

She glared at him, "Pretence of what exactly?" she questioned.

"We shall discuss this later." he merely stated, returning to reading the paper.

She ate her breakfast in deep thought, knowing that her husband's home coming hadn't gone exactly as she had wanted it to go. Lucius didn't seem to like the fact that in the four months of his absence a few things had changed and she didn't understand why he didn't like the changes. Surely it was perfectly natural for things to change in four months?

Draco finished his breakfast first, getting down from the table and running off to play when Narcissa shoved her own plate away and went to rise from the table, until she felt a strong grip on her wrist.

"Sit down." Lucius growled.

Narcissa did as he 'requested' and faced him, a look of annoyance on her face as he drummed his fingers on top of the dining table impatiently. Her husband had said that he wanted to talk later, not when they had just finished their breakfast and due to start the day properly.

"What is it?" Narcissa asked.

"Last night. It didn't go as I expected." Lucius replied.

"I wonder whose fault that is?" she muttered sarcastically.

"What you have to understand Narcissa is that I have been away for four months, adjusting to life back in my own home is going to be difficult." Lucius explained.

"And what you have to understand is that things change, no matter how long or short your absence was." said Narcissa, pulling her wrist out of his grasp.

Lucius glared at her, both still feeling hostility toward the other from the previous night. Both finding it hard in that moment to let go of their anger and talk things through but Narcissa knew from past experiences that it would take her husband time to talk with her and forcing him to talk wouldn't help either of them. In the past she had urged and implored him to talk to her about his life as a Death Eater and at times that had led to the two of them arguing badly and Lucius making himself out to be a heartless bastard, on one occasion she had moved out because he had shown that he didn't care about her miscarriage. They had overcome that but the question to her remained could they overcome their differences this time? Could they overcome the fact that she blamed him for his own imprisonment? Because she did blame him, he had chosen to join the Death Eaters, something which she had supported because it was his choice and time and time again she had stood by him when he came home injured and tortured because he didn't live up to Voldemort's expectations and she had stood by him and gained him his freedom once his former master was dead. In her eyes, she had gained him his freedom and thought he should be grateful to her, but he showed none and that angered her; that he didn't give a second thought at the four month struggle that she and their son had to endure.

"I am the man of this house, you will do as I say!" Lucius shouted.

She rose from her seat, still continuing to glare at him.

"You may be the man of the house but it is down to me that you still are." Narcissa yelled.

Before the two of them could shout and yell some more, they heard a loud bang to the floor. They both turned to see that Draco had dropped one of his toys on the dining room floor and was looking at the two of them, eyes wide and his facial expression showing that he was scared by their shouting, that it was new to him. Before her husband went to Azkaban, Narcissa never argued with Lucius in front of Draco and both didn't know how long their son had been listening to their heated argument.

Within seconds their son burst into tears and ran out of the room, crying once more. Draco wasn't usually the type of child who cried a lot but twice in two days was unlike him. Narcissa gave her husband one last cold look and rushed from the room, following the sounds of wails coming from her son and feeling guilty that she was the cause of her son's tears this time.


	6. Chapter 6

Over the weeks that followed, Narcissa was avoiding her husband completely. Whenever she tried to start a conversation with Lucius it would always turn into an argument or one of them would storm out of the room. She wanted to talk to her husband but she was unsure of what to say or how to speak to him without it turning into a volcanic eruption. So instead she poured all her energy into focusing on Draco.

It was one Monday morning when she was sat on the terrace, parchment and the morning paper spread out on to the table whilst she sipped a glass of ice cold pumpkin juice. The weather was too hot and bright but it was her son's second birthday in a week and she was trying to plan his birthday party. The year before it had been an intimate afternoon tea at her parents with her sister, brother-in-law and a few friends but this year she was debating on whether to have a party.

"What are you doing?" a voice asked.

Narcissa looked up, unsure of whether to greet her husband with a smile as he took the seat next to her.

"Trying to plan a birthday party." Narcissa replied, turning back to the guest list that she was writing out.

"A birthday party?" Lucius questioned.

"Yes, for a two year old. In case you had forgotten, it's our son's birthday next week." Narcissa answered.

She looked up when she heard a light laugh escape his lips, "As if I could forget our son's birthday, I will always remember the day he was born." he said.

Narcissa smiled slightly, "He was stubborn at first." she admitted.

"Refusing the budge that the healers wanted to send you home, of course I refused. After Lyra, I would not have you go anywhere else." Lucius muttered.

"I often wonder what Draco would have been like with her if she had lived, she would have been coming up to eight years of age now." Narcissa sighed.

Lucius reached out and took her hand, how she had missed this. Why was it so easy for them to speak of the past and the daughter they had lost but it was so hard for them to speak of four months apart when Lucius had been carted off to Azkaban? This was the first time in weeks that they had been able to sit and have a calm conversation.

"I do as well, it would not have been much longer until we would be seeing her off on the train to Hogwarts, assuming that we had agreed to send her to that place." Lucius replied.

Narcissa frowned slightly, "Well where else would she have gone?" she asked.

"Durmstrang, I have heard that the curriculum there is better plus they do not let mudbloods in." Lucius said.

"And where do you plan on sending Draco?"

"Durmstrang."

She retracted her hand from his, feeling annoyed that her husband would send their son away without asking for her thoughts or opinions on the matter. Durmstrang, a foreign school Merlin knows where; nobody knew where it was except for the Headmaster, teachers and students and all were sworn to secrecy on the matter of the school's location.

"I do not think so." Narcissa hissed.

Lucius blinked, "Why not?" he asked.

"Do you even know where that place is? Nobody does unless you were a student there yourself and even then you are sworn to life secrecy. I know where Hogwarts is so I would rather that our son attended a school in the same country that his parents reside in rather than attend a school where I do not know the location of." Narcissa stated.

"You would rather Draco mix with the likes of mudbloods and blood traitors? Durmstrang does not have that-"

"For Merlin's sake Lucius, he would be placed into Slytherin as both his parents were!" Narcissa snapped.

"My side of the family have all been in Slytherin. You forget about that stupid cousin of yours who now rots in an Azkaban cell, Sirius was in Gryffindor. Not forgetting your blood traitor sister who might as well have been a Gryffindor-"

She slapped him for that. How dare he. Lucius knew that she hadn't heard from Andromeda since the day she left to marry that mudblood and for him to use the family members that she had cut all ties with against her was a low blow for him.

"Draco is not going to Durmstrang, that is final!" she stated.

"I am his father, I think I have a right to express my wishes on my son's future education." Lucius yelled.

"You may be his father but we will not discuss Draco's education until nearer the time but he is not going to a foreign country." Narcissa hissed back.

"I have a say to-"

"I am not saying that you do not but Durmstrang is not an option!"

"What is your real reason behind it? Tell me." Lucius urged.

Narcissa bit her lip for a minute until her husband's expression softened a bit and she sighed.

"I have already stated that I don't want Draco in a country that is different to the one in which we'll reside in. Can we leave it there?" she requested.

Lucius shook his head, "There's more to it so please tell me." he said.

"I have already lost one child to death, I won't lose another to a foreign country education." Narcissa sighed.

He didn't say anything as he got up from his seat and went back inside the manor, leaving her to feel regret that what could have been a nice conversation and a way forward for them had yet again pushed them further apart. How long it would go on for, Narcissa didn't know but she only hoped that her husband would come round and talk to her soon. She knew better from past experiences than to push her husband to talk before he was ready to. Only time would tell when Lucius would be ready and she was determined to be ready too.


	7. Chapter 7

**June 1982**

"Happy Birthday my darling boy!" Narcissa gushed, pushing back the duvet to allow Draco to crawl into bed with her.

Her son smiled, not really understanding what birhtdays were really about. Narcissa knew that he would love the attention and the presents that he would get but it would be a few more years until he understood that birthdays were about turning a year older. She couldn't believe he was two years old now, it only seemed like yesterday that she had been handed this crying, red faced baby boy and being told that her newborn was in perfect health.

Draco nestled into her arms, "Mummy, toast?" he asked with a small yawn.

"After I've had a cuddle darling." Narcissa whispered.

She wondered if Lucius was up yet, her husband had been sleeping in one of the guest rooms since his return from Azkaban the month before. He kept to himself mainly that Narcissa only ever saw Lucius at meal times. Having also gone back to working at the Ministry part-time it was nice to see him readjusting to some familiarity from their life before the Dark Lord had been defeated.

After a nice cuddle with her son, Narcissa and Draco left the bedroom and headed downstairs for breakfast. Draco nibbled slowly on his toast as she helped herself to some coffee as she read the morning paper.

"Mistress?" Dobby squeaked.

Narcissa looked down at the elf, "What do you want?" she sneered.

"Master told Dobby to give this to Mistress when Mistress wakes up." the elf replied with a frightened squeak.

Narcissa snatched the scroll of parchment out of the elf's hands and unrolled it.

_Narcissa, _

_I apologise for missing Draco's birthday but I will be out the majority of the day. I expect to be home this afternoon when my business is concluded but I hope that the party runs smoothly and that Draco will behave himself._

_Lucius. _

Narcissa crumbled the note into a ball in her hand and threw it across the table, dismissing the elf. She felt annoyed that Lucius had left to conduct 'business' when nothing should have come before their son's birthday. But she wasn't going to let her husband's absence affect Draco's birthday party. Once she had finished her breakfast, she got Draco dressed into the birthday outfit that she had chosen out; a pair of black trousers and short sleeved white shirt and combed his hair back.

Draco played with the toys he had already opened as she went back downstairs, using her wand to decorate the living room with mutli coloured balloons and streamers. Nothing too fancy but it would keep the little group of toddlers amused that would be coming later. The door knocked as she checked the clock on the mantle, she hadn't realised what the time was.

The house elves let in the guests which included Julian Goyle and his little boy Gregory, her best friend Jemima and her little girl Daphne, the Parkinson's with their little girl Pansy, the Crabbes with Vincent and Edgar Bulstrode's little girl Millicent. Draco unwrapped his presents, unimpressed with the stuffed dragon that the Parkinson's had gifted him but rather liked the cuddles he was getting from Pansy which caused Narcissa to smile; her son did love any sort of attention.

"They grow up too fast." Jemima mused.

"That they do." Narcissa agreed.

"Would you ever have another? Neil can't sleep because he wants November to hurry up for this one to be born." Jemima said, placing a hand on her pregnant belly.

Narcissa smiled, "I already have two children even if one isn't here to celebrate with us. I might be open to it if Lucius wanted to talk about it but for now I'm happy with Draco." she replied.

"Where is Lucius?" Jemima asked, scanning the room.

The smile faded, "He's out on 'business' whatever that means." Narcissa replied.

"Are things okay between the two of you?"

Narcissa shrugged her shoulders, "He will not talk to me, he sleeps in a different room and eats seperately. Whenever we do talk it is awkward and most of the time turns into an argument. Draco can sense that things have changed and rarely goes near his father, I think Azkaban has taken a toll on him and I've learned from past mistakes not to push him into talking about what's on his mind." she said.

"Have you let him know that you're there if he does want to talk?" Jemima questioned.

She didn't reply, thinking back over the last few weeks of all her talks and arguments with Lucius. The decision to let Lucius talk in his own time had been made but she couldn't remember ever saying to him that her door was always open to talk to her, the times that she had intended to their talk turned into shouting matches which ended with one of them walking out.

"When he comes home and after the party has ended, talk with him. Make him aware that you are there for him and if you don't want to push him as you said you have from past mistakes, then be patient Cissy. Neil was never in the Death Eater circle so I cannot imagine what you and Lucius are going through at the moment but that is what I'd do if we were in your situation." Jemima whispered.

Narcissa nodded in agreement and helped the children as they went to the table of food in the corner before venturing outside to let them sit on the grass. The sun was shining brightly as the children ate and played for the majority of the afternoon and it wasn't until Daphne tried to fall asleep that the party came to a close and the guests left. Narcissa changed Draco into his pyjamas at half past six and carried him up to his bedroom, her little boy having fell asleep in her arms during the journey.

She loved watching Draco sleep, it was the most peaceful thing to do watching him breathe in and out, clutching his teddy bear and even as his eyelids flickered every now and again. But this wouldn't last much longer for her, another year or two whilst he still liked to be cuddled by his mummy and then he'd be a boy and be insistent on being independent. A few moments longer she lingered, sat on the side of his bed and smoothing her hand along his forehead before she tiptoed out of the room and closed the door behind her.

But as she reached the bottom step of the staircase, she froze. In front of her stood her husband with a look of disappointment on his face and at first she felt angry that he had missed their son's birthday but her expression softened to the freshly made broomstick he held in his left hand and the bunch of roses he held in the other.

"I apologise, I did not intend to miss the entire day." Lucius uttered.

She descended the last step and faced him, "Make it up to Draco tomorrow." Narcissa replied softly.

"I wanted it to be a surprise," Lucius said, gesturing to the broomstick, "Custom made for a two year old. His first broom."

Narcissa took the broom from her husband and placed it in the coat closet before turning back to him. She could see the sadness in his eyes, a sadness she couldn't recall seeing on many occasions for it was rare for her husband to show this kind of vunerability and as much as she wanted to yell at him for missing their child's party, she couldn't. His gesture was huge and it pulled at her heartstrings that he would be this kind. Lucius handed over the roses, watching as she sniffed them before ordering Dobby to place them in a vase carefully.

"Thank you but what did I do for them?" Narcissa asked.

He laughed slightly, "I got you roses last year don't you remember?" he said.

Narcissa nodded as her thoughts trailed back to Draco's first birthday, he had given her roses then as well. Her arms wrapped around his neck and for a moment he flinched because he hadn't been expecting this.

"Lucius, just for tonight can we not argue? Can we do what we did last year?" she whispered.

He nodded and pressed his lips to her own, lifting her in his arms and carried her up the staircase. Just for tonight, they would put the current state of their lives on hold, reminisce at how things used to be and pretend that things were because tonight they both needed that kind of comfort. Narcissa knew that in the morning it would be a different story but she was going to take Jemima's advice. Tonight she would make love to her husband like she had done so the year before on their son's birthday and they would laugh and talk about meaningless things before falling asleep but tomorrow it was a new day. Tomorrow she would try to make a start to fix her marriage and if that meant that she had to be patient and wait then that was what she was going to do.


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning Narcissa woke with a small smile on her face as she found herself still wrapped in the arms of her husband. She couldn't remember the last time she had woken up feeling this wonderful, turning in his arms and watching as Lucius still slept soundly. Last night they had made love for the first time since her husband was arrested and she hoped that it was a start for them trying to fix their problems that they had been having since his return a few weeks ago.

She had missed this, being able to trace her fingertips over his bared chest or run her fingers through his hair. Had missed watching him breathe in and out slowly, being in his arms and wrapped in warmth and love. Hopefully, it was the start of a new beginning for them now it was evident that Lucius didn't have to lead a double life any more.

Lucius stirred and opened his eyes, rubbing them before his gaze met hers. He smiled slightly, placing a light kiss to her forehead as she shuffled closer to him.

"Morning." she whispered.

"What time is it?" Lucius yawned.

"Nearly eight o'clock. I think Draco is still asleep, the party must have tired him out a lot." Narcissa replied.

"It's a shame that we cannot stay here like this all day." Lucius sighed.

"Not when we have a child that needs to be seen to."

"Was last night okay for you?" Lucius asked.

Narcissa blinked and looked at him confused, she hadn't been expecting him to ask her that.

"What do you mean?" she questioned.

"Things..." Lucius began before scratching his head, "Things between us...they haven't been...what I mean-"

She silenced him by placing her lips to his and pecked his lips lightly, he was correct that things hadn't been well between them lately but her silent decision the night before meant more to her now then it did then.

"Lucius, things haven't been well for us lately-"

"That is a bit of an understatement Narcissa. My son barely comes near me and we've been arguing a lot recently-"

"Let me finish." Narcissa said softly.

He fell silent but nodded at her request, looking at her through soft grey eyes.

"Things between us lately have been heated and not a heated we'd both like. I realise that we've both been angry with one another because we're not willing to discuss what is bothering us and I won't push you to talk until you are ready. But I want you to know that when you do want to talk about the Dark Lord, Azkaban, the trial, coming home, Draco then I'm there when you want to talk. I love you and I'm done with arguing, we can take this one day at a time and work through this." she whispered, tracing the outline of his jaw.

But before Lucius even had the chance to reply or kiss her, their bedroom door burst open and the two immediately pulled the covers up to their chins to make sure they were completely covered. In the doorway stood Draco, still dressed in his pyjamas and wearing a scowl on his face that made Narcissa smile, knowing exactly where he got the scowl from.

"Draco, what's wrong darling?" Narcissa cooed.

"Dobby said no breakfast!" Draco complained.

"He did?"

Draco nodded, "No breakfast no mummy!" he replied.

"Draco." Lucius said loudly.

The boy looked to his father, unsure of whether to run from the room and cry as he had done in the first few weeks of Lucius's arrival home from Azkaban or to stand there and ignore him.

"Tell Dobby if he doesn't give you breakfast, I'll give him a good kick to the head." Lucius said darkly.

And for the first time since Lucius had been home, Narcissa saw her son grin from ear to ear at his father's words. Just the promise and thought that his father would punish the house elf and that he'd get to watch delighted the boy as he sprinted from the room and they heard his fast footsteps running down the staircase. Narcissa laughed loudly, not sure of whether to be amused by her son's reaction to Lucius's words or that it only took one threat of violence to the house elf to make their son warm to the return of his father.

"What is so funny dearest?" Lucius asked, throwing back the covers and pulling his wand out from under his pillow.

Narcissa watched as her husband waved his wand and clothes came over to the bed for the pair of them. As they both dressed, she smiled.

"All this time you wanted him to warm to you again and all it would have taken is a threat to kick the house elf to do it." she giggled.

Lucius turned to face her, waving his wand once again at the bed sheets to make them unfold themselves from the bed.

"I know, it's quite amusing. To think that I could have saved myself one misery and instantly have regained the love of my son-"

"You will always have his love, you're his father and the only one he will ever have Lucius so never think Draco doesn't love you. Like I said, two year olds get attached to what they know easily and when that changes it takes a while for them to get used to it again. Just spend a bit more time with him not that he likes the fact the house elves can get kicked, he will be more willing to go near you." Narcissa said.

Lucius nodded, "We still have a lot to talk about." he muttered.

"Like I told you, when you are ready I will be here." Narcissa promised with a smile.

And just like that she felt her anger fade away as he kissed her. She knew now that it was better to be patient with her husband than to get angry and awkward with him all the time and although it would take time, they would be their own little happy family eventually.


	9. Chapter 9

A week after Draco's birthday and Narcissa was proud of how much progress Lucius had made with their son. The boy would now allow Lucius to read him his bedtime stories and tuck him up in bed as well as allowing Lucius to play with him at certain times during the day. It made Narcissa smile when she saw the two of them together, it was as if Lucius had never been away and as if Draco hadn't spent the weeks following her husband's return home avoiding his father.

She sat on the terrace, drinking a cup of coffee as she watched Lucius and Draco on the lawn, smiling as her husband held their son's first broomstick in his hand and an eager Draco trying to reach for it. It was agreed that Lucius would spend a couple of hours today teaching Draco how to fly a proper broomstick, considering he had outgrown his toy broomstick.

Narcissa watched as Draco mounted the broom and kicked off from the ground, whizzing around the lawn as Lucius made his way over to sit with her. She reached out for him, with her husband taking her hand and placing a light kiss to the back of it.

"It seems to be that Draco likes the lessons you are giving him." Narcissa commented warmly.

"He does," Lucius agreed, "But there is something I wish to discuss with you."

"Oh?"

Lucius nodded as he helped himself to a croissant from the plate in front of him before calling for the house elf to make a fresh pot of coffee for the two of them. It was the few moments like this that they had shared over the past week that made Narcissa smile, it was nice to be able to have her husband close to her again.

"I was thinking about putting in a public appearance at the Ministry, I think it would be good for everyone." Lucius suggested.

"Where has this come from?" Narcissa asked quietly.

"Well I've been thinking about it for a few weeks. The public have seen me out and about in Diagon Alley but I've stayed clear from the Ministry since my release, I think it's time for the public to see that Lucius Malfoy isn't hiding away in his Manor house or behind the skirts of his wife." Lucius replied.

"Lucius, you are doing nothing of the sort. You aren't a coward hiding away from the world, you're spending time with your family." Narcissa said defensively.

"All the same it may do some good." Lucius muttered.

Narcissa nodded her understanding, feeling a little glad that he had spoken with her on the matter. It wasn't as if he were asking for her permission but considering that the start of his return home happened to start off roughly, now he was talking to her about things he was thinking about had to be a start of them fixing things.

"When are you thinking of going?" Narcissa asked.

"Tomorrow, I was thinking of taking Draco with me. After I've been to the Ministry I wanted to take him to Diagon Alley to look at the bigger brooms, I also have some business at Borgin and Burkes-"

"Borgin and Burkes? Lucius that is no place for a two year old." Narcissa scolded.

"The boy is perfectly safe with his father-"

"I wasn't getting at your ability to care for our son Lucius." Narcissa shot back.

"Then what?"

Narcissa sighed, "Borgin and Burkes isn't the most suitable place for a two year old and considering that you have only been released for a short time, I don't think it best for either of you to be seen skulking around Knockturn Alley." she muttered.

"Is that all you're worried about?" Lucius laughed.

"It isn't funny!"

Lucius took her hand in his and placed a tiny kiss to the back of it, trying to assure her that her worries were for nothing. But his affection to soothe her worries didn't help, after everything that she had to endure from her husband's secret life over the past nine years of marriage made her feel this way. She loved him and she loved their family but if her husband was determined to risk his freedom and the question of how he gained that freedom, would it all be for nothing?

"Relax Narcissa. Draco will be perfectly safe with me and I'll ensure that nobody sees us, besides the boy may like Borgin and Burkes considering he likes it when I punish the house elves." Lucius said amusingly.

Narcissa rolled her eyes slightly as they both saw Draco running up the steps to the terrace with his new broomstick in his hands.

"Daddy, teach me more!" the two year old demanded.

"In a moment Draco." Lucius replied.

"NOW!" Draco shouted, chucking the broomstick to the floor.

Lucius let go of Narcissa's hand and stared at the two year old icily which made Draco's face fall.

"Draco Malfoy, you do not speak to me like that okay?" Lucius said through gritted teeth.

The boy nodded his obedience and muttered his apologies before picking up the broomstick and running off back down to the lawn. Narcissa chuckled slightly, liking how her son and husband were warming to each other but both remembering that Lucius was the authority figure and by asserting the rules in place, Draco would learn that he had to do what his parents told him.

"He's starting to look up to you." Narcissa smiled.

"Starting to, I still have a lot of work to do." Lucius agreed.

The two sat in silence as they continued to watch their son fly on the broomstick that he was beginning to adore, both silently thinking that this was only the beginning for them as a family.


	10. Chapter 10

**August 1982**

It seemed that he was living a different life, well that's how he felt ever since his release from Azkaban. His son hardly ever left him alone since the two had reconnected and bonded over Draco's love of flying that Lucius had taken it upon himself to give his son flying lessons twice a week. Draco loved it, the more time the two spent those two afternoons per week, the more Draco was getting better at flying a broomstick at the age of two.

Lucius was back at the Ministry, not working as such just popping in a few times each week to have lunch with the Minister or assist her with some financial matters that the Ministry was struggling to find the funding for. He'd also been the guest of honour at St Mungo's, opening up a new ward for long term sick patients and had been offered a position on the board of governors at Hogwarts thanks to an article in the Daily Prophet which praised his charity work despite having been an accused Death Eater. Although he was happy to have the majority of the wizarding world accept his 'innocence' he knew that Narcissa wasn't happy with his dealings at Borgin and Burkes.

It had been an argument of theirs lately, the first having been when he had taken Draco out for the day a few weeks ago. Narcissa had pleaded with him to think of their situation, how he had only just been released, the high risk of being caught down Knockturn Alley and in Borgin and Burke's with their two year old. But he hadn't listened, he had tried to reassure her that it would be fine and everything had been, until Narcissa had come to visit him one day at the Ministry and had been in the same lift as Arthur Weasley, that muggle loving idiot. Weasley had dropped hints that a friend of his had seen him down Knockturn Alley and although his wife had denied any truth to the rumours, she had shouted at him about it the minute they were in the comforts of their own home.

Ever since, she insisted on coming with him on trips out to London with their son because she didn't want Draco anywhere near Borgin and Burke's. Lucius felt insulted that she was questioning his ability to keep Draco safe, his ability to be a father but he didn't say he felt this way to her. He left her to her own feelings because he didn't want to go back to the horrible arguments that they had at the beginning of his release. Sure they argued a little now but most of the time they were civil and happy.

It was one morning at the start of August when he went down to breakfast to find Draco sat at the dining table alone. Narcissa wasn't sat in her usual seat and she wasn't anywhere she would usually be found in the manor either.

"Dobby!" Lucius shouted.

With a loud popping sound, the elf appeared before him, shaking in fear as those big green eyes stared up into ones of powerful grey.

"Where is the mistress?"

"Mistress is down at the graveyard. Mistress says she is paying her respects."

He felt his heart sink in his chest. From the disappointment and shame that he felt in himself. How could he have forgotten? Today of all days, the day that would have been their daughter Lyra's eighth birthday if she had lived. He hurried from the dining room, rushing across the grounds and the freshly cut grass to the the little gate on the edge of their estate, the gate that served as entrance to the cemetery and where many Malfoy ancestors were laid to rest.

There she was sat, four rows in, cross legged and a fresh bouquet of daisies resting in front of the headstone. Lucius sat next to her, taking her hand as his fingers traced the engraved letters of their daughter's name carved into the marble.

"Eight years." he heard Narcissa mutter quietly.

"Eight years."

"Eight years and it still weighs heavy on my heart at how cruelly she was taken. Eight years and I still blame myself for the way she came and left this world, eight years and I still imagine how she would have looked, how she would play, how she would talk."

Lucius released her hand and placed his arm over her shoulders as he brought her in close. The times that followed Lyra's death had been the hardest of their marriage but they had come through it. They had learned to live with their loss but that didn't mean that they would ever get over the loss of their perfect little girl who had only lived for a day.

"It wasn't your fault," Lucius affirmed, "A placental abruption is unpredictable, it just happened. There was nothing you or I could do to prevent it from happening. I imagine the same, in my mind she looks like you, bright blue eyes and golden hair. The same laugh, the same smile."

Narcissa sniffed slightly, "It still hurts," she admitted, "Outsiders think that I can get 'just over' the death of our daughter but eight years on and it still hurts as much as it did when I gave birth to her."

"It always will my love."

She turned to look at him, this was the first time that tears were not present in her eyes.

"I apologise for the way I've been recently, I'm just on edge at having to go through trials again if you are caught up in something dangerous." Narcissa explained.

"It's not your fault but believe me when I say that my business with Borgin is nothing dangerous. He just holds back a few items that he thinks I might be interested in."

"Items?"

"Rare trinkets or ornaments that hold certain magical properties which the Ministry may deem dangerous because they don't understand it. Of course these items are hidden in our secret room underneath the living room, the Ministry will never find them."

"Very well."

Lucius kissed her forehead lightly, "Can we go out tonight? Just the two of us? I feel that you may need some time to not dwell on things." he said.

"Where?"

"Any where, for dinner, for a drink, anything you like. This day isn't the happiest for either of us and while we will never forget Lyra, why does today always have to be a sad occasion?"

"Maybe because of the circumstances of which she was born. For a man who escaped a life sentence in Azkaban, you can be awfully stupid sometimes dear husband." Narcissa snapped.

Lucius sighed heavily, "I didn't mean it in the context that it came out but if you wish to be sad in front of Draco all day, then be my guest."

As he stood up and went to walk away from her, he turned at the call of his name. Narcissa was stood now, looking at him apologetically as she slowly walked towards him.

"I'm sorry. I think dinner tonight would be just what we need, we both need some time to be a married couple and not just be Draco's parents."

Lucius smiled, "I think it's just what we need." he agreed.

* * *

**A/N: So I'm leaving it there, the next chapter will be their night out. Apologies that this story hasn't been updated for a while. **

** To new readers, if you are a little confused with this story, I thought I'd save you the trouble of pointing out to me that Draco was their only child. This story is a sequel to my story 'To Love and To Cherish' where I went a little off-track and hence why I have put that Lucius and Narcissa had a child before Draco, if you want to read about this other child of my own creation it can be found in chapter 30 of that story. **


	11. Chapter 11

"Thank you, Druella, for agreeing to look after Draco this evening." Lucius said politely, checking his watch to see that only two minutes had passed since he had last called up to Narcissa to ask how much longer she would be.

"It's no trouble, the two of you need some time out of the manor and alone. Draco will be fine." Druella assured.

"I think it will do us both some good." Lucius agreed.

"What are your plans?" Druella asked curiously.

"I'm taking her for a quiet meal in the village, a little pub which was recently taken over by an associates' son and his wife. Apparently the cottage pie the wife makes is quite delicious so I thought that there would be no harm in taking Narcissa along. Then I thought I'd take her for some drinks and a bit of dancing at a new salsa club in Saliunca Alley. Of course Narcissa has no idea what we are doing." Lucius replied quietly.

Druella smiled, flipping the page of the book that Draco was reading whilst sat in her lap, "That sounds lovely, I'm sure the two of you will have a lovely time." she said optimistically.

They both heard footsteps coming down the staircase and a few seconds later, Narcissa appeared in the living room. Her hair had been curled into loose ringlets, her make-up minimally applied; her dress a pale blue with spaghetti straps and stopped at the knees, nothing too fancy but nothing too casual either. Lucius smiled as he wrapped an arm around her waist, leading her out of the manor before they had to spend another ten minutes of Narcissa quizzing her mother's ability to look after their son because she was nervous at having an entire evening out without the stresses of Draco's bath and bedtime routine.

"I didn't tell my mother-"

"My love, your mother is more than capable of looking after Draco. I've told her twice already what time he goes for his bath and what time he needs to be tucked in. I've told her what story he likes to be read at bedtime and that he wants his dragon night light when the light switches off. There is no need to be anxious about a night off." Lucius assured her.

"But Draco hates it when I'm not there to put him to bed-"

"One night off isn't going to kill either of you." Lucius snapped.

Narcissa blinked, shrugging his arm off her and separated from him a tiny bit. Lucius exhaled heavily, he hadn't meant to snap at her; especially given what the day was and Narcissa was already being distant because it was the anniversary of their daughter's death.

"I apologise-"

"No need. Where are we going?" Narcissa asked.

"The village for dinner, the pub has recently been taken over by the son of an associate of mine-"

"Can we get out of Wiltshire? I don't want to ruin your plans for us and our night out but given that we'll still be quite close to home and I'll be wanting to constantly check on Draco and my mother, I'd rather we get away for a bit." Narcissa requested.

Lucius nodded, taking a hold of her arm before apparating them both to Saliuna Alley. It had been a while since Narcissa had been here, the named Alley was famous for the lavenders that grew in beside the cobbles and the shop doorways, deriving it's name from the Latin word for lavender. The alley was one of the various shopping districts in the wizarding world, with many restaurants, bars and shops to entertain the people who visited. Lucius took her hand, leading the way to an upbeat dance club to which Narcissa could hear the music from within.

"A club?" Narcissa asked, surprised at his choice.

He nodded, "It's newly opened and tonight is salsa night." he replied.

"I don't know how to salsa, I only ballroom dance."

"Loosen up a little, forget our troubles, forget about the two year old we have waiting at home, forget how much this day pains you, if only temporarily. Tonight we won't get upset about the daughter we lost, tonight we will be Lucius and Narcissa; a married couple enjoying the time we have together." Lucius whispered in her ear.

Narcissa looked up at him through watery eyes, "How can I forget Lucius? Too much has happened, even if you manage to take my mind off everything for one night, the troubles will still remain in the morning." she said.

"Just try."

"I have tried. I have tried everyday for the last eight years to forget the pain this day brings and everyday for the past three months since you've been home I have tried to forget how much this doesn't feel like I thought it was supposed to feel." Narcissa cried.

"What do you want from me?" Lucius asked quietly but through gritted teeth.

"I want my husband back." Narcissa replied.

Lucius scoffed, "I'm right here." he stated.

But Narcissa shook her head, "You are but you aren't. You might be back at the Ministry and you might be bonding with Draco again but we aren't the same Lucius." she pointed out.

"It's been nine years of marriage Narcissa, we aren't going to be the same people."

"I know! But we don't talk any more about anything!"

Lucius took a step towards her, running a hand through one of her ringlets; he wasn't ready to talk yet and especially not here in public; even if the streets were empty and the only sound came from the dance club that they stood outside of. He wasn't ready to talk about how he felt like a failure, that he had let her and Draco down after promises of glory in the world that they should be living in. He tried to be strong, to put on a brave face and pretend that he was still the same person before his imprisonment in Azkaban but it was far from the truth. The things he had to listen to during his time in that wretched place still gave him nightmares to this day even though his time in the prison had been a short one. The only thing that had gotten him through those four months of hell were his wife and son and it had been down to his wife that he had been granted his freedom, why should she have had to do that for him?

"You said that you would be patient."

"I've been patient Lucius, I thought we would have talked about it by now."

"What do you want Narcissa? You want me to bear my soul to you over a glass of wine whilst painting our nails? You might do that with Jemima but you certainly won't do it with me." he growled.

"I never expected you to do that but I can't keep pretending that everything in our marriage is okay. Lucius, so much has happened in the past year that we haven't discussed and I need to move on from that. _We _need to move on from that and work together to build a new future for our family." Narcissa pleaded quietly.

"I thought you would've learned by now that trying to make me talk before I'm ready won't do us any good."

"I think my mistake is putting faith in us when time and time again it has just blown up in my face."

Lucius was shocked by her last angry statement, of all the things they had been through in their many years together they had always come through it. The times of when Cassandra tried claiming that he had fathered her child and Narcissa had learned about it in the newspaper, the times of his secret activity as a Death Eater, His overtime at the Ministry that had caused him to not spend much time with her in their first years of marriage, the death of their daughter Lyra and the two years that he and Narcissa had lived separate lives, the miscarriage that caused Narcissa to live with her parents for a month; it had always been difficult but they had always come through it together because they worked together.

"Everyone used to warn me about falling in love with you, Evan, Bella and even that blood traitor all told me that you were incapable of love but I saw something in you that proved to me that they were wrong. All the times that we argued so badly that a part of me thought that it was the end for us frightened me so much because I never wanted to lose you because I loved you so much but I don't know how much longer we can carry on like that Lucius. You were always secretive and pushed me away; whether it was to prevent me from falling for you when we were teenagers at Hogwarts or protecting me because you had to have your secrets but it still pushed me away. Yet I always came back, determined not to give up on you or the family we were."

"What are you saying?"

Narcissa moved away from the hand that was still running through her ringlets and looked at him sharply, "You know what I want but I cannot keep living with you like this. Tonight we can spend some time together just like you want but in the morning, Draco and I will be moving back in with my parents; whether that's temporary or permanent is your choice. I'm not going to push you into talking but giving you some space to come to terms with everything might be just what we both need. When you have accepted what has happened in the past year and have come to terms with that then you know where I will be and when that time comes, I hope that we can talk about _everything _and put this all behind us for good." she said.

No more words were said as Narcissa left him stood in the street, heading inside the dance club as Lucius tried to process everything that his wife had just said. She wasn't giving up on them but nor was she making the effort any more and he couldn't blame her. Since they had 'reconciled' on the night of their son's second birthday, she had been patient; quietly waiting in the wings for him to open up and talk to her about how he felt about everything that had happened since the previous Halloween. They had petty disagreements but not full blown arguments like the ones they had during his first days on his return and since Draco's birthday she had been attentive and patient with him but he guessed that it had been too long a wait for his wife. He did know one thing, he wasn't ready yet but one day he would be and when that day came he would do anything to win back the love of his life.

* * *

**A/N: So please don't hate me too much for this chapter but like what's been written, especially in the prequel to this story you'll know that Narcissa and Lucius have a LOT of issues that they need to work through. Narcissa hasn't ever fully accepted that her husband was a Death Eater (you'll know this from the amount of times she disapproved of his secret life in To Love and To Cherish) and Lucius hasn't accepted what has happened to the Dark Lord, even though he lied about his double life to the Ministry, the point that I'm trying to make is that Lucius feels like a failure. **

**And to prevent any reviews of 'Their first child died years ago, they should be over it' you NEVER get over the loss of a loved one, especially if that was a child, you just learn to live your life. I haven't experienced the loss of a child myself but my mother lost twins when I was a teenager and the second one was near on halfway through the pregnancy and even to this day I still see the loss and mourning in my mother's eyes so please understand what I have said in regards to this. **

**But I will promise you that their separation will only be temporary, they will be reunited soon but I didn't want this story to be like my other Lucissa fics. I wanted to explore the possibility of them having a strained marriage after everything they went through in To Love and To Cherish and after what happened when the Dark Lord fell with the possibility of Lucius having a temporary imprisonment in Azkaban. **

**I'd also like to stress a disclaimer once again that I own nothing just in case. **

**Please let me know your thoughts, if you are a fan of my stories then please check out my bio for dates of when the in-progress ones will be updated and the reason why behind it :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**October 1982**

**One Year On...**

_Recently, the world we live in has been dealing with the capture and imprisonment of those who were suspected of following the dark wizard, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and whilst some have been cleared of all charges, others have been given life sentences in Azkaban. One year ago, You-Know-Who set out to kill Lily and James Potter for unknown reasons, some speculate that he was trying to recruit them to his forces, and he succeeded. Their one year old son, Harry, is the only person in living history to survive the killing curse but also managed to defeat the darkest wizard in history without having any developed magic(that we know of). _

_Today we remember the bravery of two young souls who were against You-Know-Who's regime and beliefs. I, Rita Skeeter..._

Narcissa chucked the newspaper to one side, silently cursing Rita Skeeter; the journalist who currently wrote the paper's gossip column. It had been over two months now since she had moved out of the Manor with Draco and had moved back into her childhood home with her parents and things between her and Lucius were still tense. Her husband would come and pick Draco up and take their son out for a few hours before dropping him back for dinner, speaking with her how their day had been before departing back to Malfoy Manor. It was tough and she hated how things were between the two of them but she was still adamant that Lucius needed his space and some time to come to terms with everything that had happened before they could reconcile; and today, she had a feeling would be troubling Lucius.

"Everything alright Cissy?" Cygnus asked, picking up the discarded paper.

Narcissa shrugged, "To be honest father, I'm not sure. That Skeeter woman likes to gossip on the one year mark of the Dark Lord's downfall, I honestly don't know why the paper employed a shrew like her!" she complained.

Cygnus chuckled lightly, "My contacts at the Prophet have told me that they're promoting her to Quidditch correspondent soon because their readers have increased a lot thanks to her reports." he noted.

She rolled her eyes, "More likely that she'll be digging into the players personal lives like she has done since she started writing that wretched gossip column." Narcissa muttered.

"What are your plans for the day? Maybe you should go and see Lucius?" Cygnus suggested, turning the front page.

"My marriage is hardly at the point of fixing when my husband has a lot to do before that point comes. Lucius knows where I am and we've both agreed that when he has come to terms with everything that has happened, I will be here to talk about us." Narcissa replied.

"Still, today is a tough day for all of those who were followers. I dread to think how your sister is coping in that Merlin forsaken prison but I can't reach out to her, Bella made her choice and Lucius made his. Reach out to him Narcissa, before it's too late." he encouraged.

"I've tried, many times over the years father. Why should I be the one to always try and fix our problems when it's my husband who hasn't dealt with those problems?" Narcissa questioned.

Cygnus took a sip of his tea before turning another page, all the while not looking at his daughter throughout their conversation.

"My darling girl, you haven't dealt with these problems either; you are running away from them. By all means continue to live here and don't feel that you're a burden because you aren't, this is your home. But by coming to stay here with me and your mother, you aren't dealing with the problems that you and Lucius have together. You might be giving Lucius time and space and that to yourself too but you won't be able to deal with everything without working through it with your husband." Cygnus pointed out.

Narcissa didn't know how to reply to her father's assessment of her time apart from Lucius, in a way he was right. She did need to work through the problems together with Lucius but she was still adamant that she would give him as much time and space that he needed, for once he was going to come to her rather than her go to him to talk through their issues.

"Perhaps you are right father but Lucius knows where to find me when he's ready to talk." Narcissa replied.

Cygnus made a slight 'hhmmm' before putting his attention into the newspaper, leaving Narcissa to turn at the sound of footsteps entering the dining room. Her mother placed Draco in the seat opposite her before Druella took to her own seat besides Cygnus. Druella handed Narcissa a letter before helping herself to some breakfast. Narcissa looked at the envelope, recognising the familiar handwriting of her husband.

She opened the letter, eyes focussing on the writing:

_Dear Narcissa,_

_I hope that you and Draco are well and that our son hasn't been playing up too much for you. I hope that your parents are well also but the reason for me writing this quick letter is to ask if you could spare some time to return to the manor today, I would really like to see you. _

_Send your reply back as soon as you read this. _

_Lucius._

Her eyes rolled at the briefness of the letter but she guessed that Lucius would prefer to speak to her face to face rather than in a letter which could be read by anybody. She made sure that it was okay for her parents to watch Draco for a little while before leaving the dining room for her father's study, sending her reply back that she would be at the Manor shortly.


	13. Chapter 13

Lucius sat in his armchair in front of the fireplace, a glass of whiskey in his hand and watched as he lazily swirled the liquid around inside the glass. It was sad to think how much could change in the year since his master had been defeated by half-blood infant. In that year he had been arrested, temporarily placed into prison, most of his friends were either dead, imprisoned or pretenders like he and the future of his marriage was uncertain. His letter to Narcissa this morning was replied to that she had plans with Draco and her mother and would stop by this evening, she hadn't stated a time but he sat there waiting; knowing that she would turn up.

As expected, she let herself in; the manor still recognised her as the mistress of Malfoy Manor despite what he hoped was only a temporary split. He rose from his seat, placing the glass of whiskey on the mantel and crossed the room to greet her. He went to kiss her but got her cheek as she moved her head to the right, she was still angry with him; how could he blame her?

He felt like a failure, he didn't feel like a man after having to be released from prison with her help. How could he allow everything to fall on his wife's shoulders? How could an infant defeat his master? How could he not have opened up to her sooner, for he noticed that she wasn't wearing her wedding ring and that made his heart sink.

"Would you like a drink?" Lucius asked, gesturing to the sofa.

Narcissa shook her head, "No thank you, I told my mother that I wouldn't be long." she replied.

"What I have to say may take a while."

She sat down, "I know you too well to know that you don't want to talk about the issues we have, therefore I must conclude that you've drawn up divorce papers and wish me to agree with your terms."

Lucius felt angry but he couldn't blame her for coming to that conclusion as to why he had written to her this morning. He remained standing with his back to her, "Is that what you want?" he asked her, hoping with all his strength that she didn't want to put an end to their marriage.

"Does it matter what I want?" Narcissa asked quietly.

"Of course it matters!" Lucius growled.

He turned to face her now, angrier that she was still being hostile when his letter to her this morning had meant to be him waving the white flag as an offer or chance to rectify the problems that they had been having over the last few months. He sat opposite her, meeting her gaze and wondered how he had allowed them to get to this.

"I didn't bring you here to speak of divorces and terms of them. I brought you here to speak of the state of our marriage and what can be done to sort it out so that we can be happy again and be good parents for Draco."

"What would you have me say? I have said all that I have to say that night I decided to move back into my childhood home with our child."

Lucius sighed, "It's been a year since my master fell. Bellatrix wouldn't have it that he was gone, she asked me to go with her that night she tortured the Longbottoms." he muttered.

To her surprise, her eyes widened at the last little piece of information. Never before had he told her that her sister had wanted him to be part of the crimes that had been committed against the two Aurors who now had a lifelong bed in St Mungo's.

"W-Why didn't you go?" she whispered.

He didn't answer her at first.

"Why didn't you go?" Narcissa repeated.

"You know why!" he growled, "I believed it to be over, I was devastated that the life I had promised you in a world where mudbloods would be squashed had been ripped from me! When Bellatrix asked me to go with her that night I refused because all I had left was the son I adored and the wife I loved with my entire being. If I had gone, our marriage would have been over the second I stepped outside of our front door."

Her breathing quickened, "Lucius, I know how much the cause meant to you, how much being a Death Eater meant to you. You wanted the glory, you wanted the power that he could give to you when he was supposed to win the war, I know what kind of life you wanted for us." she declared.

"I felt such a failure that it was all lost and then they came for me and I spent four wretched months in that prison; thinking only of you and Draco and how I could get out of this mess. Instead you secured my release from Azkaban and I felt..."

He paused but she didn't press him further and he was thankful for that.

"I felt emasculated," he sighed, head falling into his hands, "My release fell to you and it shouldn't have been that way. And afterwards when I returned home, I didn't take the transition very well. For weeks my son would not come near me and for weeks I slept alone because I didn't know how to be with my wife when I didn't know my place. Even now I am trying to find my identity in a world where mudbloods still run freely."

For the first time since her arrival, Narcissa's face softened because he was sharing with her willingly when usually he was a closed book about everything that had happened in the past year. She leaned over from her seat, reaching out to touch his knee and he looked up at her; surprised that she had made the gesture to do so when she had arrived so hostile and adamant that he wanted a divorce from her.

"I'm a Malfoy, everyone knows what that's supposed to stand for. But I no longer do, in time I may rediscover myself but currently I'm not in a position to do that. I've lost everything-"

"You haven't lost everything." she promised.

"You came here under the impression that I no longer wanted you." Lucius pointed out.

"Lucius, there is much that has happened. I was angry with you because your life as a Death Eater always put me second and as a result I saw it as your own fault that you got yourself in that mess but at the same time I couldn't be without you, I _had _to do something. I couldn't sit by and watch as the Ministry found you guilty. I meant no insult to you nor did I want you to feel emasculated by securing your release; I saw it as my duty to you, to Draco and to our marriage that you came home and we were a family once more. You say that you've lost your identity as a Malfoy, darling from what I've seen you are no man who is willing to accept defeat so easily as this."

"Narcissa, we have been through so much. The loss of a daughter, gaining a son and losing the life that I intended for us amongst other things that have happened over the years. Are you not tired of all that?"

She rose from her seat, placing herself in his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"My love, do not give up. We are Malfoys, we will adjust to this as we have adjusted to everything else that we have overcome. Of course it saddens me still that we lost our perfect little girl and of course I know that it will take a lot of hard work but now we have opened up to each other as to how we feel about these events. We can only try to find our place in this world filled with mudbloods if you wish for us to work this through."

Lucius wrapped his own arms around her, "If you're willing then there is nothing I'd like more than to have my family back with me here at the manor. I love you, Narcissa Malfoy, more than anything."

Nothing else was said as they sealed their promise to try and make amends to their marriage with a kiss. There was a long road ahead of them as they both had to the damage that had been done to their marriage since Lucius's return from Azkaban and now that they had both told the other how each other felt, they were one step closer to walking on that road together.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you to all of you who have followed this story since the beginning. Sadly, this draws an end to this story and I will be working on the last chapter of Loved, Hated but Never Ignored over the next week or so to bring that to a conclusion. There is still To Recover What We Lost for you Lucissa fans so please give that a read and keep an eye out for future Lucissa stories :) **


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